ITS A STRANGE PHENOMENON... IF WITHIN LIMITS ITS HEALTHY IN MENTAL GROWTH AND SHARPENS ONES EDGE FOR LATER LIFE. I HAVE AN OLDER BROTHER AND OVER THE ADOLESCENT YEARS IT WAS DAMN NEAR FATAL FOR ME... BUT..NOW IN MY 50'S I HAVE A KEEN SENSE OF SELF AND THINK VERY QUICKLY. PERHAPS ITS SURVIVAL MODE, BUT EITHER WAY.ITS WORKED FOR ME. BEST OF LUCKCan anyone give me advice about sibling rivalry?
even though we live on other coasts from each other (probably a good thing) we are very close. we talk 3x a week and see each other 4x a year. its all good
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Sibling rivalry has been in existence in families for ages. But that doesn't mean that you are powerless and cannot do anything with it.
If you see that all three are arguing or fighting over something, step in as a parent and as a figure of authority and help resolve the problem. It counts a lot if you still remain calm and ask what's going on. If you find a reasonable solution for it, go ahead and explain it to the children. You can stress to them that 'giving in' for the sake of the other is not a sign of weakness but a sign of courage. Well, the situations may vary and each one may require its own solution. But overall, it's important for you as a parent to teach your children ';VALUES'; and ';GOOD CONDUCT';. If you strongly believe in these, I think that their relationships with one another will build up to be a better one.
As a piece of advice- Be patient with them and don't give-up! Your kids need a lot of guidance and supervision from you. Even if others say that sibling rivalry is incurable and just let it be, well, I don't believe in this. If there is a way, there is a definite solution.
pecking order..dont get into it unless there is blood
THE SOONER YOU LET THEM WORK IT OUT ON THEIR OWN THE SOONER YOUR HEAD ACHES WILL SUBSIDE. ONLY STEP IN IF IT GETS PHYSICAL OR THEY ARE JUST BEING DOWN RIGHT HURTFUL TO EACH OTHER. A TOUCH OF SIBLING RIVALRY IS HEALTHY.
when they all together stop talking to each other then you should worry or when they get physical then it's gone to far. me and my older sister faught all of our llives and barley started becoming friends about 2 or 3 years ago. she's 24 and i'm 22. just give it time.
As long as no one is getting injured to the point of having to go to the hospital, or they are using names to hurt their feelings let most of it go. I am the youngest of 4 and I learned to stand up for myself and how to defend myself.
This works every time.
Go into the room where they are fighting. Don't say much and don't try to figure out who is right or wrong. Just take the oldest one and punish him or her quickly. Tell that one it's their fault since they are the oldest. That one will very soon keep the others in line.
I am one of five, and have 7 children.
Usually sibling rivalry is for a parents attention, their own way or jealousy within them. It's natural, can get out of hand sometimes and can get nasty if allowed to grow believing it to be normal.
It's natural for a little competition between them, and it can encourage the other if its something the other is achieving. Like one of mine wanted a job and was jealous of her elder sister getting now, but it encouraged her to get a job, to have the same as she did.
They have fought like cat and dog, they have swapped things to swap back and then fought like cat and dog...both want to look the best in our eyes, but there is only a few months between them (11) which helps trigger sibling rivalry.
We parents have to get involved when they push the barriers of normality rivalry brings into the home, and try and teach them to share etc....hard but rewarding as you see the little things shine through, like the one ill and the other care for them.
Families huh ;)
I also have three children 11, 10 and 9... when they fight I remind them that they are fighting with my child who I love as much as I love them... and it hurts me as a mother. Guilt can go a long way in this. They don't like to see me as a mother who has failed to raise them correctly.
One thing I know is that each child should have seperate interests that you take part in. For example my son does Karate, my daughter rides horses, and my other daughter plays soccer. We all support and attend each others events to cheer them on... there is no rivalry and it promotes unity when they hear their siblings on their side.
Well when they start to get violent, that's kinda the worst scenario!! lol But when you can tell they really are trying to compete for a certain thing and they end up hating each other, then you will know. Its kind of an instinct. I'm the oldest of 5. You really just gotta watch them.
hope that helped!
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